Stop body shaming, fit shaming, shaming in general. I’m disgusted by how we have treated each other in 2015! 2016 is our chance to get it right and be kinder to each other. The fact is we are hella mean to ourselves. I’m my own worst critic, so it does not help when others chime in and put me down. We all have demons, carry baggage, and doubt ourselves at some point…don’t jump on that bandwagon and bring someone else down. Let’s be better, band together, and support each other. It’s time to love ourselves and do it right NOW.
I have established a self love goal – wear my Oiselle race style bra singlet at the Hot, Hilly, Hairy 50k. Body issues have held me back the majority of my life. I don’t put myself out there or have confidence to wear many running clothes. I look like a sherpa at the pool when a swimsuit is required…it is really a silly sight to see. I’m green with envy when I see others in sports bras and shorts. Their boldness and self acceptance is something that I strive to achieve this year, so I have set a goal to gain confidence in myself to go for broke and show up with my midriff exposed.
There are many people that will not understand what a big deal this is for me, I get that. To most people I am in very good shape and look good. Our perception though is our reality and no amount of compliments from others will change my self image. I am the only person that can change how I see myself and I need to do so. It is an aspect of my recovery I have shirted around.
My relationship with food has improved and I have maintained a healthy, consistent weight since the birth of my last child (over 4 years), but I have not yet addressed how I “see” myself. Last year during the HHH race it was extremely hot and humid (heat index/real feel upper 96 degrees and 90% humidity). As a result I sweat my butt off, but refused to run in my sports bra. I look back at that race and wonder what the heck was wrong with me! It was a big realization that I needed to once and for all deal with the skeletons in my closet.
I’ll keep you updated! The race is July 30, 2016.
Update 6/20/16 – I have passed on the 3/4 Oiselle bra top to a friend to borrow. She is rocking it out in her recent hot races. It took a bit of convincing to get her to wear it. Like myself she was not sure she could “pull it off” after having children. Trust me she can! To all those mothers and women out there I hear you, it is tough to believe others when they say you are beautiful and fit. Give it a shot and lean in a little to what they are saying, our self doubt can taint the truth and we need the support of others to see what is right in front of us! I struggle with seeing my body as others do, it continues to be a process that is under construction. July 30th is around the corner and I fully intend to wear the 3/4 whether I feel ready or not…I made the commitment to myself and will follow through no matter how unsure I am.
#BeKind #BeHappy #BeActive